I have begun my 9th year at the Mountain View Buddhist Temple.
As I reminisce about my first impressions, I was impressed with how much space we have. I had just arrived from a small temple of about 200 members to one with over 500. At my previous temple, we were very happy when our Dharma School enrollment surpassed 30 kids. We have over 30 students just in our High School Dharma class.
But most of all, I was amazed at how much space there is in my office. I have a desk, a filing cabinet, and most of all bookshelves for my library of Buddhist books. And the one thing I didn’t have before: counter space.
It is traditional to tidy up before the New Year. I remember looking at my office, not knowing where to begin. Over 8 years, I have accumulated so much and I was so overwhelmed that I couldn’t do anything.
Human beings are creatures that accumulate, grasp, and cling to things. And the more space we have, the more we accumulate.
A month ago, my niece from Orange County was here playing in a high school basketball tournament in Pittsburg. As I was trying to find the gym to watch her game, I noticed a huge public storage facility nearby. I noticed this because I had just recently read an article that one-in-10 households rents a warehouse to store some of their belongings. Since then I notice these warehouses all over the place.
There is a relatively new TV show called “Hoarders” which feature people who accumulate to the point that there is literally no open space in their homes. It can be a very debilitating and sometimes dangerous condition. My wife likes me to watch that show so that she can tell me, “Honey, aren’t you glad that I’m not that bad?!”
As well, I am not the neatest or most organized of people. I collect and accumulate things. But not all of what I accumulate and cling to are physical things. Much of what I have is what I call, “mental clutter.”
Last October, I went to my first high school reunion in Sacramento. It was our 35th year reunion, but I have never had the chance to attend one. So I was looking forward to it for some time. I began calling and e-mailing some of my high school buddies telling them to go.
I was feeling very happy and excited as I parked the car and entered the restaurant. Banners welcomed the Grads of ‘75. At the check-in line, people were smiling, hugging and greeting each other. I was really getting into the festive mood. I began going up to people, saying hello and going through the rituals of “It’s been a long time; I remember you; you haven’t changed. What are doing now? Are you still living in Sacramento? etc.”
I tried to say hello to the almost 80 people who gathered that evening. Then I approached a woman who had been one of the cheerleaders. I extended my hand to shake hers, but before I could say, “Hello,” she said, “I really don’t remember you, but thanks for coming.”
“Wow,” I thought, completely caught off-guard. I meekly responded, “That’s okay,” but what I wanted to say was, “Well, you weren’t a very significant part of my life either.”
There is an old tale of an elderly monk walking through a forest with his younger disciple when they come to a riverbank and see a beautiful young woman standing at the edge of the bank.
The woman tells the monks that she is afraid to cross the river because she might slip and be carried downstream. She asks if one of the monks might help her across.
These two monks were members of a sect who practiced celibacy and both had taken vows never to touch a member of the opposite sex. The old monk, sensing the extreme anxiety of the young woman, lifted her onto his back and carried her to the other side of the river.
The monks continued on their journey, but the young disciple was shocked and disturbed at having seen his teacher nonchalantly break his vow. Finally, after several hours of walking, the Master senses some concern and asks his young disciple what was wrong. The disciple replies, “How could you carry her like that? We are not allowed to touch women, it's against our way of life.”
To which the Master answers, “I left the woman at the river’s edge a long way back, why are you still carrying her?”
To let go of all the mishaps and difficulties in our lives, sounds like an easy thing to do.
Modern commentaries on this story try to tell us to do simply this: Let go.
One wrote: “If you could have the memory of all your negative experiences erased, what kind of person would you be? Perhaps, ideally, we would be more trusting, loving, happy, and more compassionate.”
But is it possible just to simply erase these experiences and let go? I think Shinran clearly says no. It is extremely difficult to do.
In his Shoshinge, Shinran writes:
The light of compassion that
grasps us illumines and
protects us always;
The darkness of our ignorance
is already broken through;
Still the clouds and mist of
greed, and desire,
anger and hatred,
Cover as always the sky of
true and real shinjin.
Although the light of great wisdom and compassion may embrace us, we fail to see it due to our greed, anger, and ignorance covering our eyes. It may be difficult to let go of all the troubles and difficulties that we accumulate.
But for Shinran, the first step is to embrace and acknowledge them. They become the source for our ultimate happiness and sense of peace and tranquility. They become the cause for us to reflect upon what is real and ultimately realize the Truth of Life.
This is the first step in realizing the working of our ego.
Only by first acknowledging our ego can we begin the transformation to let go and see the wonderful world that we live in.
Gassho,
Rev. Dean